Hair Cuts

I've always fantasized about cutting my hair. Growing up in a Puerto Rican family, and not having the idolized straight or almost straight hair had contributed to my fear of being creative with my hair, as most women are. All through high school I wore it tied up, much to long and well, never really did anything with it, afraid of it becoming a frizzy mess. It wasn't until I was 19 that I realized I, in fact, had awesome hair. Playfully curly, thick, with natural highlights... and for a long time I relished in my new found appreciation for the curls I once despised.

But the fantasy of cutting my hair off never left me. Wanting to avoid becoming the stereotypical lesbian, I put the idea to the back of my mind, but it always crept forward... especially during those hot, muggy summer days. Each time it did, each time I seriously considered it, those same fears, fears of looking bad, of looking ugly came to the surface. I did not have the right face, I wasn't pretty enough, my hair is too curly, too thick, all of these excuses I have touted at one point or another. They helped ward off the idea, temporally.

Well last week I said f___K it. My hair is gone and I have a short hair cut. The change was immediate. I have been told I look softer, I have been told I look younger, I have been told I look good... but what has stuck with me the most has been what I have experienced since my "liberation" - I feel ready, more confident to take risks. I overcame a long childhood fear, and I am happy and content with my decision - it doesn't look bad, it doesn't look awesome, but I am free from those constant worries that plagued me throughout the years. I'm even considering going shorter. Such a small change, such a temporary condition has inspired me to think about the larger things in life. Moving to another state, rising up to the challenges before me, hell, I'm even thinking about going shorter.... after all, it is only hair and it will grow back.